You know I try hard to keep things pretty light and happy around these parts, and to new readers, I think it may seem I live a pretty charmed life. I may be inclined to agree, and the occasional PTSD meltdown and feeling of guilt that I get to be happy or live the life I live reminds me even more how lucky I feel to be a happily married woman with my own child in a healthy and happy life. It’s such a far cry from the abuse victim living in fear for their life I was a decade ago. And in the back of my mind all this time I write happy posts I also feel the need to hit some of the harder things and talk about abuse, learning to let go, and divorce. After talking to not one but several friends this past month who have let me know they are going through or facing possible divorce I just feel all the more need to open up and share and finally hit publish on this post that’s been stewing for years.
A few years I got an email that touched me so much I’ve never forgotten it. A sweet girl told me she loved getting date ideas here, but she also knew I’d mentioned a few times I’ve been through a divorce and she had just found out a girl she goes to church with who had been a neighbor and friend was unexpectedly facing a divorce after uncovering a husband’s addiction and affair. She knew my story was very similar, and she asked me honestly if I had a few minutes if I’d be willing to offer advice on anything she could do to help. She felt at such a loss and truly wanted to do anything she could to ease a friend’s burden without overstepping. I sat smiling thinking of the people who really reached in and really made a difference for me in the lowest time of my life. They were there while I was trying to figure out how to go on and how to start a new unexpected life plan. And I wrote an email with what they did that I keep feeling like I should share with others. I’m going to add more I’ve learned now being on the other side helping friends, but if you’re reading this and setting it aside for someday, or maybe searched and found this post, I hope you know that you can make a huge difference in the life of a friend going through a divorce.
Those are the things that have helped me the most, and the things I try to do for those I know experiencing a broken heart facing a divorce, a separation, or the loss of a loved one. I know I have several who have a similar story to mine either facing life alone or who have happily found an amazing person to love and convince them to believe in love again. I would love to hear, what has helped the most, and is there anything you’d add to the list for those who have the chance to help someone through a divorce?