I can hardly believe we’re celebrating six years of marriage today! Every year seems to go by faster and arrive sooner. Every year I’m amazed at the fun excursion Jacob has planned. A quick trip to Mexico for the weekend and our first time away from our baby with time for just the two of us has been just what the doctor ordered! I can’t wait to share our travels and fun and some tips for visiting if you’re looking for your own quick, tropical, romantic getaway- look for that next week!
I had a realization this year, I’ve now spent double the time married to Jacob than I spent married to my abusive ex-husband. What felt like a prison and a time of hopelessness has made me appreciate how much I love the man I get to call my husband and eternal companion. For every time there was lying, isolating, gaslighting, derogatory comments, physical or mental abuse, I can could at least two times Jacob has been the polar opposite. My dad once told me that for every ounce that former someone stole, Jacob has restored it and is every bit as good. I’m looking at him as we hit six years of marriage and I’m thinking of my six favorite things he has done for me and been to me this year.
- He has helped me soar. When we were dating I was in business school and I told anyone who asked the last thing I wanted to do was start my own company. As I’ve realized a lot of entrepreneurial dreams he’s always one to me talk through how to make my dreams happen, how to reach the next step, and what can he do to help me be successful. I sometimes wonder if my life is The Twilight Zone and I shifted to the polar opposite universe I was previously in, and it’s this reason most of all that I feel so lucky to have him! He believes in me and wants me to achieve my dreams. I feel like instead of having weights tied to my feet, I have someone always ready to give me a boost to help me fly. If I can give dating advice to anyone it would be to only date those who help you be a better you and push you to follow your dreams with full support. Our lives, our goals, and our careers have been so shaped by each other’s cheerleading. Finding someone who will do anything for your success and you’ll do the same is the recipe for a lot of happiness!
- He appreciates the little things and the big things. On the worst of days when I feel like I didn’t accomplish anything, he is quick to point out that I have a child who is alive- which is a huge accomplishment! If I do a small chore he notices and thanks me. If I spend weeks on a project and finish he’s observant too. I’m so thankful that he notices and pays attention and knows I need words of affirmation.
- He’s proven to be as fun as ever with more responsibility than ever. I can count on him, and I love that, but I also love he’s there to make me laugh, he’s there to plan the next date, he calls a babysitter when I’ve been too busy or distracted to, and he’s hellbent on still traveling and keeping up the parts of life we love most even as parents and crazy Americans working all the time. I love him for his hard work and responsibility, but I love him for always being a fun, happy spot of life too.
- He’s the best listener. We’ve joked a lot that this past year I am always “talking at him” which I coined by the way. It basically, means after time spent alone with a baby or quietly working, I’m ready for adult interaction and he walks in the door with me chatting non-stop for about 20 minutes to an hour. He just listens, and he really listens. I often stop to apologize I’m talking so much and did’t even ask how his day before I dove right into all the things I wanted to say and just talked at him more than with him. He always smiles and says, “I love it! Keep talking at me!” He gets that need, he’s so patient, and he truly listens. I know he cares, and he tells me often one of the main reasons he married me to keep his life fun and entertaining, and he finds me interesting and it’s fun to listen to all my thoughts. I love feeling valued. I love that he cares about my work, social, and mothering experiences, including the hopes and highs and woes and lows. He attentively listens to each.
- When I express a need or concern, he helps and fixes it immediately. If I’m worried we’re not talking enough and express that, the next day there’s time carved out just to talk alone together. If I’m worried our child is throwing too many fits, and he’s the first to listen to a parenting podcast during his commute time. If I’m feeling like I never have a minute alone, and he volunteers to take the baby for as long as I need a break. I love that my needs are his needs. And for the record, his needs are my needs. I feel like this year we’ve matured into this even more, and I feel so grateful for such a caring man.
- Least I’ve made him seem totally perfect, I love his quirky and nerdy moments too. He’s an engineer and falls into some of the stereotypes, and I love him for this! I love that he’s so honest he politely tells people he doesn’t understand why a joke is funny when everyone else is fake laughing at something clearly not funny. I love that he finds the most clever way to fix things, and it’s often hysterical. I love the mornings he gets dressed and his outfit doesn’t match. Apparently, I make a face when I see him in the evening when he does this and he knows right when he sees me. It’s the endearing quirks that I get to see and appreciate that no one else does that make me love and appreciate him even more.
So Mr. Whiting, Happy Six Year Anniversary! I’m very grateful for you every day, but today I’m very grateful that of your many options, you chose me and I get to celebrate that today. And I’m grateful for how happy my life is and how lucky I am because you did!
For those who have followed us and love to ask- we are doing our annual anniversary pictures! We haven’t taken them yet but will share them when we get them back, most likely at the end of March!
*Wedding photos by the very talented Tara Keator
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