Home remodeling as a couple has a bad reputation: but we’ve found home remodeling as a couple has strengthened our marriage! Here’s How!
It seemed like the entire world warned us that remodeling a home together would ruin our marriage. It’s stressful, it’s expensive, and there are more decisions than you’d even think possible! We’d heard a few horror stories. And although we’ve remodeled half of one home together while engaged and as newlyweds, we still worried. So imagine my shock to tell you that months into gutting our home, we’ve found home remodeling as a couple has strengthened our marriage.
That may raise an eyebrow wondering how on earth something so stressful could bring us closer. But, I’m here to tell you it did! And I’m so grateful for this experience we’ve been through not once but twice! This second time was a charm that really let us spend so many date nights in intentional DIY home remodeling. I thought we’d spend one or two doing projects together, and would desperately need more nights on the town. But we found so much joy and connection in home remodeling as a couple that we just kept on going!
Here are some of the major benefits we’ve experienced home remodeling as a couple and how it has strengthened our marriage.
How Home Remodeling as a Couple Has Strengthened Our Marriage
- Quality Time Spent Together
We’re at a phase where so much of our lives is work: work for jobs, and work taking care of two tiny humans we call our children. Date Night and intentional time together each night are the only times we really get to chat. Dedicating time to projects every night forced us to cut back on evening work time. We had so many hours spent together with late nights. Although it’s hard to work so hard and not sleep as much, the quality time was amazing!
- Technology Use Diminished
We’re big fans of putting down the phone and spending time together face-to-face. But I had no idea how much watching one or two shows together most nights was taking away from our quality time. I loved that my screentime went down, and we had to ask friends what shows were trending the past several months. It was kind of this amazing relationship boost neither of us expected!
- Learning New Skills and Growing Together
We’re constantly growing and changing, and with the way our work and lives our set up it’s so hard to stay connected through changes. That’s why we believe every couple needs a regular date night! Home remodeling as a couple meant learning something new every night, and learning it together! I love how many new skills we acquired. I love even more that we did it together.
Benefits of DIY Home Modeling as a Married Couple
- Connecting Our Dreams
I’ve never been one to plan every detail of a dream home, but I think everyone has a few key elements of a home they dream of having. It was so fun to talk to Jacob in the planning phases of the remodel and discover his dreams and our shared dreams. As we made new decisions constantly, it’s been exciting to merge dreams together and feel connected in creating a space for a life we both dream of.
- Constant Financial Talks and Checks
I’m a big advocate for being on the same page with finances. There’s nothing like a home remodel or home renovation to create a steady way to discuss finances and financial planning.
- Sense of Shared Accomplishment
I’m so proud of the rooms we’ve remodeled by ourselves! I’m proud of the kitchen we designed and planned and are so close to finishing! There are things my husband took the lead on, and I”m so proud of him for all he’s done to make our remodel a success! I know he feels the same shared accomplished feeling towards the projects I’ve done.
We both keep commenting how lucky we are to be married to such a hard-worker and someone willing to put in elbow grease and time. It’s really connected us on a level I never expected!
- A Newlywed Feeling
Our first remodel as newlyweds didn’t feel as connecting. We had to watch every penny as kids right out of grad school and in our first jobs. We didn’t know what our style was or what we really wanted. But we both appreciated the time spent together and the hoping and dreaming it created.
This time, we had such a firm grasp on our style. We have been planning and preparing for years. That also meant budgets were more flexible and we’d had the time to decide where to splurge and save. But one thing that I can’t believe how much I loved was that newlywed feeling I felt relieving the home remodels experience for a second time.
I helped Jacob paint some rooms and a hall in his house before we were even dating. It gave us so much time to chat and connect. And I tease it helped him see I was a total winner putting in sweat equity before we were even an item.
We refinished cabinets as an engaged couple. It was so much time, work, and dedication to do. As I’ve refinished two bathrooms, I’ve smiled remembering those moments.
The list could go on and on, but we’ve had a lot of time talking together and connecting while doing home projects as newlyweds.
As parents who have kids who want to talk and fight for attention too, it’s also been this amazing experience to have time just the two of us each night to talk. It’s felt like this magical time to connect and worry about just each other’s thoughts and opinions. I’ve cherished this time of so much focus on bonding and being together.
So for those who are worried for their marriage or relationship, know that there’s a lot of beauty in home remodeling as a couple. If you can decide budgets and plans before you start, you may have a wonderful experience growing even closer together!