I had the most interesting realization this month. Most of my life, I’ve had all kind of thoughts about date night is easier for some people than other people. Where you live, your budget, and finding things to do can really make or break dating your significant other. But this month I had an “aw hah” moment: there is such thing as having a date night mentality. I think I’ve officially reached it after nine years of doing this. And I wanted to share how it happened and how you can have a date night mentality too.
Date Night Mentality Myth: There Are No Options Where We Live.
For those who don’t know, Jacob grew up in a tiny town in the mountains with a population of about 3,000. Everyone who hears this is a little shocked. He’s definitely a big city person and loves going and doing and trying all the things. He loved where he grew up, but he also graduated high school early and moved to Phoenix as soon as he could to start chasing all his big-city dreams.
And as people who go on a date every week, I have to admit that big city living makes dating quite a bit easier. Hence our popular post of Phoenix Date Ideas. We live in the 6th largest city metro in the U.S. and the largest suburban city in the U.S. This gives us a lot of opportunities, including date opportunities. It’s even on my list of Living in Phoenix: 12 Things to Love.
I always thought we were able to come up with so many dates because of where we live. But the more I do this, the more I realize it’s a mentality more than a physical location.
Make Date Night Happen Anywhere You Live
Whenever I share a date, I try so hard to find the equivalent that applies to the most amount of people, know that more of my audience is outside of Arizona than in. I want to help everyone find a great idea and a great date! And do you know what, people seem to be inspired and find similar ideas no matter where they live!
Clearly, we share a lot more than just Arizona date nights and try really hard to take a global approach to this mission of ours. We’re lucky enough to travel often. Thank you husband who is a consultant and racks up reward points! Plus we’re always using this hack to afford travel too. We love it! And we love to see new places as often as possible.
In the past three months we’ve visited several states and two counties. And, at each place we’ve visited, I’ve had at least one moment where I’ve turned to Jacob and said, “I could so live here!” It’s to the point that it’s becoming a running joke. I seem to find the good in everywhere, and I think how exciting it would be to live there! It’s made me realize how many dates there are anywhere in the world!
Date Night in Small Towns
A few months ago I would have said that small towns have it the worst for date nights. I mean when you have your pick of 10 places to eat and a movie theater, it can feel hard to get creative. I know many of my friends really make at home date ideas work for them.
But something pretty amazing happened to us over the 4th of July weekend. We went to see my brother in a small city, and we spent the afternoon at a parade in a pretty small town. As each business went by I found myself turning to Jacob and saying “Wow that could be a really fun date!” By the end, I was ready to sign up for square dancing lessons, go horseback riding, have a camping adventure, ride tractors, visit a farm, hike the canyons, see a local choir concert, and about a dozen other things.
It hit me: It was so easy to spot these things because I have a date night mentality.
Developing a Date Night Mentality: Making Dating Fun Again
I was amazed how easily dates came to me in a place many would say there’s nothing to do. I think there’s always something to do, you just have to look for it!
The more we date, the more we look for the next fun thing. Sometimes that’s just finding a new meal to enjoy together. Sometimes it’s seeing what our local area has to offer this weekend. But all the time, it means intentionally planning fun together.
So for the first time, I thought about remote areas as the same opportunity to have an amazing date night relationship as anywhere else. I thought about people who do most of their dates at home and still find the same fun. Additionally, I thought of all my big-city friends who always seem stumped what to do.
It’s so much less about the actual activity, and so much more about the mentality of looking for new experiences.
We love going out on the town most. We really love our big city dates. But most of all, I love that a mentality has come that no matter where we live, no matter what we do, we’ll find new experiences! Because that’s how date nights happen. And that’s how a consistent date night mentality is born.
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photos: Chrissy Blake
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